truth about lies.

you dont have to ask me if i remember that night.
i would say "trust me" but..
i'll never forget.
"trust me"
ironic isn't it?
if it weren't for me being human,
and insecure you probably would trust me.
unleash the beast,he's within
and next you standing tall,
i'm just a kid.
with the things i have done, i've teased
and slandered your name
but it was me to blame.
maybe you liked her,maybe not.
but you know what happened with us..
and i know it was my fault.
i hated you because i hated me
and hating me made it hard for us.
i lied to you about alot of things
i even ignored you when you called me
i kept the same story going,and going,and going
and i don't know what you think you know now,
but i swear now i'll tell you everything.
i have told you everything.
do you accept that?
please believe me..
it sounds so pitiful,so ashamed
i have to ask your permission to trust me
i have to beg you to believe me
because i was selfish.
well heres the truth, i have always wanted to love myself
and back then i thought maybe he could help me with that
but i realized after feeling disgusted with my decision and with myself
that he was never the answer to my problems
and niether are you,but you are a hell of alot more close.
i am the answer, and thats the damn truth.
you want the truth,but i wish i could lie more
because when i tell you the truth i only hear bye more.
i dont want to have to lie, and make up these things that just
SOUND good.
i want to be great,and know im doing good.
theres things you will remember but for me try to forget
because im starting over, and i want this.
i know you want this as bad as me
i can see it in your face
youre hurting because of me
and everyone tells you to leave me alone
but you have stuck it out, and i love you for that
more than they will ever know
because we share this something
that they will never understand so when
im done with this, they'll smile at the sight of our holding hands
and we will make them proud
but we will be more proud to be part of something that is real
something we no longer have to lie about
i promise ill figure it out.
honestly