bitter.

"you can bite into an apple and taste the bitterness that lies underneath
unfortunately for you, i like that taste."-amanda ancello 


I've been in denial for while about my struggles that keep me trapped.
I'm locked behind this door, hoping to find my way back..
I've seen relationships crumble around me my whole life..
and all I've ever wanted was to do something right.
but in this case i was wrong.

I am in love with the idea of being in love.
your words, not mine.
and yes this is about you, is that alright?
well look, who cares i write what i please
you come and go at your leaser
im done chasing something that wont stand still
or stop for a second and let me catch up..
and you wonder why im a crazy bitch.

i never gave up
keep reading and you may find out that bitch isn't even the worst of it.
You love me when im there
you love me until im numb
frank ocean can relate, he thought he found the one..
i wonder she really drove him to drugs?
does novocane really work, i may have to try it
but dont judge me, im only in this for the long term.
so yes ill become addicted to anything that has to do with you
like i always do.

no, im done being you bitch.
you're only a part of this relationship when you want it
but baby, thats not how it goes..
and if you never knew that..
i hope ive cleared that sand dial glass for you
because your time is running short.
im sorry, MY time.
the time ive invested in you..
youve made your compromises too, but where is the struggle?
do you just run from all you troubles?

now theres no service on my brain,
so i wont register what you're saying..
don't keep your phone close
i know you have no service either..
i wont call.

my phone? is that whats most important to you?
i say im done, and you're not worried about me being DONE.
done putting up with this bullshit,
running around in circles until i faint.
i thought the heat in the shower was bad,
but this has me so light headed i can barely stand.
im gone.
like the wind that blows in your one ear out the other.
and its ashame it really is
i thought we'd always have eachother..
well i have me,
and you have you..
im cold, im frozen..

ghost.