Wednesday, December 14, 2011

quench.

the cup had always been half drained to me,never enough to quench my thirst but you taught me to see the glass half full. i started to see things positively, the fingerprinted glass was still crystal clear, the lip stained rim seemed to be a tasteful touch, but a grain of doubt float upon the half drunken water that still didn't reach the top. my mouth watered for more evidence of any left liquid to sooth my dry mouth, but i couldn't  seem to find anything worth pouring. I'd stare at the glass, wondering if the poison was worth drinking, the lies, the sleepless nights and countless tears, but all i did was stare. I couldn't grasp the glass, feel the cold toxic water flush me of my independence, my determination to make something of myself. I could become parch but what difference would that really make i was already thirsting for the true substance of the liquid that formed to the very shape of a meaning cup. What was it that floated upon the edge,something black hovering over the tasteless beverage that i felt i needed. Why did i doubt the cleanliness? why would i doubt the quality of something so simple, so taken for granted in other places? my hand stretched in front of me and my fingers wrapped around the glass dragging it across the table creating a sinful sound of "ahh" with the two gulps i felt refreshed, slamming the glass back to the table and again staring. I wanted more, and the black floaty still stuck to the side of the cup was staring back at me in the face. Despite the poison,despite the doubting i still gave into my weakness without trusting it, without really even wanting it i gave in because i thought i needed it but what i really needed was to realize if i thought of it id only would seem to want it more, to quench my thirst, to quench my sorrows, to hold me and sooth me to wet the tongue that has fed lies, and rolled off the words i love you plenty of times, but this poisoned tongue now burned of lies and distrust. I didn't needed it, but telling myself i did only made it my weakness.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

time.

behind my eyelids lies a mirror,reflecting myself in my eyes,
the way no one can see me.
the way one day i will be,but time takes patience
and progress takes time.
behind these eyes no one knows the me i know.
lavander thickens the air around me
and velvet kisses are exchanged
casual conversations feed knowledge to my brain
inspired by the smallest things, with the shortest attention spand.
i stand, disecting the world searching the different means for things.
emotional, at times i admit i can become distraught,
but to me nothing is better than a little hunger for thought.
curious, and i know i may be a child at heart,but not childish.. not childish.
live a bit, love a lot with an open heart i pretend i see the light through the dark.
and my past will not hold me back i will not let it write me by my future
i refuse to let a little fear stop me from going further.
occassionaly i still hear the train, wanting to bring my half packed bag
but i know when the time comes, i wont need to come back.
with a bandana wrapped around my head, with my sack of belongings
with my head high a strong heart and a pocket of dreams,
i can run, i can swim, i can walk, i will smile
i know this little girl inside has been waiting,patiently.
she will show the world, she will succeed
i smile at the thought of  the introduction of the world and me.