a-void.

relations with my hands tangled into shapes that round my character.
shadows lurking on every corner, awaiting the hourly thought of you.
lip stick stained in depth within the cracks of my lips, unkissed, untouched.
imperfect sign-language exchanged over casual conversations but your scent is left upon my skin.
clouds cover the illuminating moon,darkness falls over the fact that you're gone.
here without you i cry inside but let no one see im alone.
cleanse the void of your absence,free myself of being replaced.
it wouldn't be the first time.
this is how i live, hoping to see the next day, the sun torching the world, the trees unable to breath,
and me, still here.
watch as my feet take turns like the tables we have dealt over for two years
walking over broken bottles smashed to the curb ,
like my heart against the cage of ribs that no longer protects it.
irrelevance has a part in all, as i stand in stumblers avenenue, this was all supposed to happen
wasnt it?
you,me.. this horrid dream, but awake me from finding truth.
lies,slander, you always say..
but i never learn, i never learn.
poison seeps through my lips to kill our relationship, and why do i continue these lies?
you deserve a better me.
we deserve a better us.
im not with you,but i will always be with you
and this tie around my finger reminds me of things we've forgot.
untie the knot, replace it with a ring.
who would've known i'd ever mean these things.
im sorry, for the avoidance i tend to embrace.
seeking truth, living lies, its all part of the price
cologne clung to you that night
ocean waters washed away your pride, your lies.
walk with me, and the waves do the same
sand molds to the shape of my feet,sinking in the poison i speak
i love you, i have never hurt that word
but if a word could be hurt,it would cry alone in the dark
love is a painful thought.

casual conversations.

You are my soul mate..
you challenge me and touch my soul.

When your fingers glide along the small of my back,
youre hands hold my soul.
your lips graze my brain.

When you look at me i am found
in the moment every second is an hour
and life becomes bliss

In seconds you find me where we stay lost in lust
when love saves us we count the days
until we can finally touch truth once more.

the truth of our love is written on the page,
our future,unwritten is before us.
each day it rises with the suns
it stays with the moon
the two will be one and the love becomes whole soon.

the time of life living as one drags slowly,
leaving sparse pigments of pain in your eyes.
but you give me the courage to open them each morning.
you leave me with bittersweet kisses and  butterflies,
sacred of hurt,frightened by the "L" word we use so casually.
The void of your absence grows thick..
needing you, wanting you.. to hold me.
hold me,and never let me go again.

we count hours,days,seconds spent with you
these are the seconds i add to.. but you my love with me in every move,
stay close.. you stay close.
here in my heart, with nights awake tossing without your arms.
turning without your voice,
wishing the month we see before use comes soon.
they talk their talk, and judge our secretive love.
but what they dont know wont hurt us.
wont hurt us.

gilded lillies.

series of blood stained tears
love stained fears.
abandoned lips quiver, while tasting your breath.
concrete cracks under her feet.
stepping upon shattered glass,fearless.
perpetual circles,round and round.
under her eyelids dark crystals hide away.
gilded lilies have died to stay,
rotten,thirsting for truth.

crumbled leaves,tumble weeds..stranded.
melodic sounds,faintly disappear.
ancient organs fight for freedom,distraught.
the truth she has found has grown stale.
ink blots, black words are tart washed with chlorophyll.

broken knees,sore spirits.
shuffling through capsules,finding cure.
rusted waves,gliding through her punctured veins.
still,inanimate.
gone.

high hopes.

theres small things in life, that youll get the chance to see again.
those little things that someone does that makes your world a happier place.
that moment of laughter you shared, over something you now can't even remember.
there are those times, you would spill tears over someone you don't even know anymore..
that day you thought you looked lost, but you meant your bestfriend.
that night you thought would never end..but now you wish it never did.
that song that played on the radio, and every time it came on your eyes would light up.
the hospital trips you hated but glad didn't lead to a little black dress.
the days you were forced to sit next to the person you hated most, but now is you friend.
the first day you rode that damn bike, and after so many tries..
next on your list was to teach yourself to fly.
spread those wings,because these memories will give you hieght.

theres times we all take for granted..
that day your mom packed you lunch for school
the time you found a dollar floating in a puddle,
and the candybar you bought with it was the best chocolate you'd ever had.
A lot of people turn cold, after tragedies or a remorseful pain.
when in reality they just want to fly again..
many people don't know how to teach themselves.

its a cold world, full of confused people.
sometimes i sit on this park bench and watch..
&as the sun beats against the faces of the young ones..
and the wind blows past their elders..
you can see the chemistry is gone.
what happened to the love?
leaves fall,the sun goes down and seasons will continue to change
but people as well never stay the same..
i've promised myself to adapt to these things
changes is not a bad thing.

People will come and go, and some you will never see again..
so take advantage of the opportunities you have,while you can.

we all live for the moments that hard work has paid off..
we're living for the wrong things..
live for yourself..
live in your dreams..
and spread your wings.
now fly.

close is so far.

we still have time to go,
but im waiting here.
breathing in,exhaling the silence you send me.
letting go of what i used to know
of who i used to see..
who i used to love.

oh you have a way with words,
you tell me everything that takes away the hurt.
i miss you, &no one approves.
i love you,still.

time to flee, time to forget
lets take our time this time.
lets move slower, and really focus on doing things for ourselves.
epic fail.

frail paint brushes tangled in my hair
pencil points in a pile
crushed pastels stain my sheets
and i create a masterpiece of destruction.
your eyes,your lips, you brows..
what a perfect combination.
you make me sick,
but i love being sick.

my knee holds my head, and my arms hold them tight
my nails bitten to the core like a fiend with no resistance.
mascara still hugging my lashes, lips chapped..
burning every time the salt in my tears fall upon them.


oh your voice so angelic.
i can hear the pain in your tone.
the way your lips slur the words ive waited to hear.
gazing upon the reasons i want you here.
i still love you, and i hate me for that.
they dont think its a good idea,
but i do what i want.
i want you.


i wish time didn't pass us so slow.
the dreams we've shared,still shattered collecting dust
somewhere in the chest we've burried them deep in.
somewhere behind the heart, still burning..
lighting up everytime i think of january
the possibilities left in life for you and i..
you can have me and i'll give me to you
like i always do..
back for round two.
four,six?
which is this?


we lie close,but so far from reach,
close my mind to hear you speak.
speak soft secrets to me.

the winter soltice/sosinproductions lyrics

speaks; how do we always end up here?
we always end up.. here.


-intro
better get used to this place my dear,because we always end up here.
after turning right,after right we end up lost again right here.
its days like these i ask myself to move on, when im stuck here
with this lump crawling from my throat
i start to get over our last fight,but we hit  rock bottom again
i can't cope.
 dont no much about this thing called love,this is my first time too
but you admit to breaking heart,
where have we gone wrong..
if we know all of these things,why can't we love right?
we take our time,but these baby steps come one at a time.
i hope we get there soon..

but until then im panting, i panic, im gasping for air..
sufforcating under this pile we created here..
guitar comes in ..

baby we've burried ourselves again,
i'll love you till my last breath..
but i think i'll breath it soon..
because after digging us out, i cant keep up with you
the good in your heart has gone too..
so now im stitching,im digging..
keep close,eyes shut.. bare with me now

unburry me please,this time wont you help me..
deep breaths.. breathe..
we dont know much about this thing called love..
but i know i love you.
we'll be there soon.

mista encore/your music lyrics

speaks;her love is music to my ears,turn her up.



bittersweet sings after drop;
hit my heart to the beat of this drum, you'll be my only one.
now play the strings im wrapped up in,turn it loud, turn me out.
make me feel right, loving me always,killing me softly.
now harmonize between my thighs, touch me here, love me right.
(mista encore speaks)(turn her up..)
chorus;turn me up, turn me on
produce this track, i'll mix this, you add that
&i'll sing ochopellla
im feeling this,were feeling us, lets not stop(Mista speaks over)(i wont stop)
we'll sing..ochopella.
lost in this heat,feel this beat?
as we sing.. making you feel right.(making you feel right)
turn me up,now turn me on, im feeling this
we wont stop
ochopella,ochopella..

lost in the beat,lost in this heat
turn ya up,turn me on(turn me on)

-..mista encore..
verse..
...................
................
..................



(bittersweet sings after Mista,before chorus)
baby harmonize between my thighs,turn me up love me right..

--chorus--
repeat 2x

(mista)&(bittersweet) mixx
 ....fadeout.

stronger.

intoxication,flirtatious,
this is not my style.
yet i sit here and play the part extremely well.
numbers in my phone, so i don't feel alone
but when i wake up without you i go through hell.
This is not my fault, in fact i'm not sure if its yours either.
i think its just called life, lets blame it on life.
Drowning this lump in my throat until i can't spell the word sober,
and when its all done i wake eventually with no intentions of speaking to you.
but i do..
or at least i try,
i wonder how you're handling this so well.
responsibilities, cling to me, and it gets a bit easier to cope.
preoccupied with decisions to make for myself..
i wish you could see how good im doing,finally.
i wish you were here to tell me you're proud.
Two years of the same shit,the same friendship
two years of loving no one else..
not even myself
and its hard to admit
only because i want you to think its easy for me..
but i really do miss you.
i miss my friend,my "soul-mate"
the one i'd fight for until death
but now I've revived myself, because that was only the death of me
i'm living in your dreams,
i'm breathing in what seems unreal.
but this is as real as it gets
and tears disappear under my chin
writing this, hoping you'll read it
hoping you've thought of me lately
hoping you  will call, because i miss you voice.
but at this point all i can do is hope.
there's no other choices i have left to make but those that will benefit me.
i turned cold, now i shiver
i turned numb, and i left you alone.
but now i'm scared because i haven't cried in such a long time
who am i?
the emotional girl, is not emotionless
and she gags at the thought of you moving on
but she holds still
waiting for you to realize
waiting for you to ask
wondering where you've been
the emotionally emotionless me is strong.