sabotage

I'm stuck here where i have always been
between the dreams and ambition
between the wall and a hard place
but i'm done with the pitty party because eventually no one ever shows
i'm left sitting alone in the corner feeling sorry for myself
knowing damn well i never sent the invites because i was too lazy
i had no interest in communicating or putting out work to do so
and i just expect them all to show up with their party favors
to get me out of here
to get me out and help me stop feeling bad for myself
but i know now its something i have to do for myself
and then maybe we can throw a party to celebrate all that i've done
i mean they all say i can do it
then why am i just now believing them?
either i haven't wanted to hear it
or this one is just really convincing and didn't need an invite.
If I'm capable of so much now and I'm only sitting still,
can you imagine what i'll be.
no more self sabotage for me.