tattoo.

its almost like he can see what I'm thinking,
he can look at my face and read the rest of my story;
I've never had that before.
It's starting to scare me, not so much like a cliche love song to sing along to
but something that i know is poison and i just want to bite into it;only because its in his hands.
I can't explain this feeling, and i don't know if i should
by all means i would never want to put anyone else hopes of romance to shame
but i think i may have found something, in someone that people write about.
I don't think i was ready to find it, the boy who cried wolf was never ready
to face a man slaughtering creature he just wanted to be known for his stories
i guess I've told me share of tall tales too.
I've cried the "I've found love" stories far too many times for anyone to take this time seriously
for granted the past that lingers behind me has been a rough road, but this time i know it's different.
I still expect the worse, but before i hoped it wouldn't happen
and now me and him, we talk about it happening, something so realistic can still be beautiful;right?
something so raw,and so close to the heart has to be worth more than the authentic love story.
It's almost like my old life, throwing myself at strangers, seeking attention in damaged men seems irrational.
Like it all hasn't been erased but has been used to get me here
i keep telling him "my past was practice" and he laughs, his cheesy laugh
but he still knows I'm serious.
I don't know whats worse, the fact that he knows hes going to hurt me
or the fact that i know I'm going to let him.
Maybe even the part where we lay side by side in the dark making shapes of each others faces
trying to decide if we should hurt each other now or wait to kill each other later.
My best friend would never hurt me, at least not intentionally, but us humans can't help who we hurt
I found myself writing about the word  "hate"
"you can't hate someone unless you've had the chance to love them, and if you're capable of loving then why would you waste your energy on such a selfish emotion as hate."
but i know i could never hate him
i used to think "We found love" by Rihanna was our song,even after he told me who it reminded him of
but now when i write all of this, it sounds like Rihanna was looking to capture something much more powerful than a powerless relationship between a hopeless boy and a helpless girl.
i love you.